You’re ready to start your presentation. Your heart is racing, your hands are shaking and there are beads of sweat on your forehead. Everyone’s looking at you and it feels uncomfortable. You hope you could flee.
“People may think, quite harshly, that nervousness shouldn’t be shown. But there’s nothing to be ashamed of if your hands shake. Bodily responses are common and familiar to many people. Yet, when you’re anxious, you may think you’re the only one with such feelings”, says trainer psychotherapist, non-fiction writer and columnist Maaret Kallio.
Kallio will be talking about social anxiety in the FSHS webinar Mielenrauhaa sosiaaliseen ahdistukseen (‘Peace of mind for social anxiety’) on Thursday, 10 April, 2025 beginning at 2.00 pm [in Finnish]. The webinar is part of the Students’ Mental Health Week programme coordinated by the Student Wellbeing Network. The main message Maaret Kallio wants to put over is that it’s possible to learn to live with nervousness.
- The webinar “Mielenrauhaa sosiaaliseen ahdistukseen” (teams.microsoft.com)
- Read more about the Students’ Mental Health Week (nyyti.fi)
Social anxiety may affect people not only when appearing in public, but also in different group situations or even when eating together. In the latest Finnish Student Health and Wellbeing Survey (KOTT 2024) more than a third of participants reported having experienced social anxiety.
Be compassionate towards yourself when you feel nervous
Nervousness may affect the way you interpret other people’s behaviour. According to Kallio, you may not see others neutrally if you’re feeling nervous and timid. In such situations it’s good to remember that others may also feel nervous, or that they might just be over-excited at that particular moment – it doesn’t mean they’re being purposefully unkind if they don’t notice you.
“It may be easier to join the group through some shared activity”, suggests Kallio.
Kallio encourages everyone to deal with their nervousness and social anxiety as gently and compassionately as possible. Difficult feelings may feel like your enemies at first, but you don’t have to try to force them away – and it might not even be possible to get rid of them completely.
“Let feelings come and accept them. We can learn to manage them and calm down.”
Try slow exposure, not avoidance
If you’ve previously experienced anxiety in social situations, you may feel tempted to avoid such situations in the future.
“It’s natural to avoid difficult situations, but it rarely helps much. I would try to push myself gently and slowly expose myself to these situations. This way difficult feelings don’t get the upper hand”, Kallio advises.
Kallio reminds us that it’s possible to learn to listen to our own timidity and nervousness. And no one is entirely anxious and nervous – there are different sides to everybody.
“We all have our brave and competent sides as well.”